Working at the Tower
by CrystalClear98
Summary: Cass has a pretty dangerous job. Cleaning for the Avengers. And just when she thought life couldn't get any weirder Thor turns up with an unexpected guest. This is the story behind my Rules to Working at Stark Tower fic. Rated T 'cause let's face it, Tony's involved.
1. Chapter 1

**Here goes the story behind my rules fic! I was really surprised at the enthusiasm for this story so I hope I haven't disappointed anyone. J**

Chapter One

Cassandra James had cleaned for some pretty crazy clients. There had been that crazy cat lady in Jamaica, the old man in Germany who thought she was his wife… That was weird. But the people she had been working for, for the past 2 months were beyond weird.

As Cassandra walked towards the elevator the security guards gave her the usual encouraging nods and sympathetic smiles. Because you can be damn sure that what awaits her upstairs is the usual chaos.

Cassandra smiles as she remembers her first day. She'd come away a little shell shocked but returned every day since with a kind of grim determination.

"Where the _hell _is my phone?" Tony was yelling from the kitchen. Cassandra sighed, took a deep breath and picked up Tony's phone from the couch.

"You know for a genius you sure are stupid." She observed casually as she handed him the phone.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I need you to prepare one of the rooms in the Avengers hallway. Thor's arriving today." Cassandra nodded and headed to the chosen room. Her friends had been all excited for her when she had gotten the job, but to her it _was _just another job. She wasn't all that interested in meeting the god. But, from all the others had said of him, Thor was the opposite to Tony in all respects. And if he was no genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist then Cass figured they'd get along fine. One Tony was more than enough.

But when Tony came down from the roof with a sulky expression on his face Cass knew something was up. Tony didn't sulk. He argued, slammed doors, but he _never _sulked.

"What's up?"

"Why don't you ask Thor?" Uh oh. Thor had only been here a minute or so, what the hell could he have possibly done to piss Tony off so early in his arrival?

The answer to her question was immediately made clear by the 6 feet 4 inches of pure gorgeousness that was following Thor. Upon coming to live at Stark Tower Thor had decided that his little brother needed to see how mortals were not beneath them.

Cass went off to prepare Loki's room and when she went to get some bed sheets found the missing Tony in the airing cupboard.

"Oh for goodness sake! Tony pull yourself together! Honestly! Get down there and rise above it!" She then proceeded to yank him out of the airing cupboard and shove him downstairs. Cass had no patience where sulkers were concerned.

The rest of the day passed without incident. Cass made them spaghetti bolognese, then headed home with another headache. _Looks like the painkillers are coming out again tonight,_ she thought as she opened the blue front door to her one bedroom apartment a block from Stark Tower. _And I have to get up early tomorrow morning to get bloody poptarts for Thor! _Thor had been particularly upset to find that there were absolutely no poptarts in the Tower.

_Beep! Beep! Bee-! _That was the snooze alarm going off- Wait! The snooze alarm! Cass shot out of bed and threw herself towards the wardrobe. Hurtling down the road to a corner shop she practically chucked the money at the cashier and yelled,

"Sorry late for work!"

Cass collapsed on the living room floor gasping for breath. Nobody even noticed she was late. That is, nobody except Loki, who followed her from room to room lecturing.

"Tardiness is not tolerated on Asguard. You'd be flogged for being late you know." Eventually Cass's patience wore thin and she turned around and glared at him.

"I couldn't give a damn about what you do to people who are late to work on Asguard! This is Midguard and we do things differently here!" She then turned and carried on cleaning. Loki was so astonished that he went silent and left the room. She wasn't sure whether this was because he hadn't realised she knew the Asguardian term for Earth or because for the first time in his life he'd met somebody who actually didn't give flying fuck about his opinion. _Oh well, he'll have to get used to it, _she thought. Tony wasn't going to hide it either, she knew that much.

"Lady Cassandra?" Cass sighed in exasperation. She had been repeatedly telling Thor all day to call her Cass but his polite Asguardian side was not letting him do so.

"Yes Thor?"

"Loki says he will not come down until you go and apologise to him for shouting at him earlier."

"Well looks like he's missing out on roast chicken then doesn't it?" Tony snorted. Steve and Bruce raised their eyebrows and Clint high fived her. Natasha laughed.

"Lady Cassandra I don't think you realise how unstable Loki is. He might hurt you if you do not apologise." Thor sounded almost childlike in his desperation to keep her from harm. But Cass was no pushover, Loki was gonna have to learn that at some point. Better he learned it sooner rather than later.

Meanwhile Loki was sat on his bed waiting for her to apologise, he was so sure she would. But when he heard the chairs scraping on the floor as everybody sat down to eat it began to dawn on him that maybe she wasn't sorry about what she'd said after all. 10 minutes later Loki made his way downstairs.

"Hunger win out?" Cass asked as she handed him his dinner, with a smirk.

Tony and Clint burst out laughing, Natasha snorted into her dinner and Steve and Bruce tried to hide their smiles.

"Oh Thor, I got you some poptarts. They're in the cupboard." Thor beamed at her and practically skipped to the cupboard.

That night as Cass snuggled down in bed she thought, _It's official. Life just got weird._

Poor Cass couldn't know how right she was.

**Okay started with a short chapter to see what kind of reviews I get. So please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry it's taken so long to update, it took lo0nger than thank you to Crazy Narnia Fangirl, .58, ThunderPups1, MoonLight1300, Guest, 3twhfangirl163 and wolfgirl12930 for your positive reviews! **

Chapter Two

Everyone living in Stark Tower, with the exception of Thor and Loki, had learned not to mention the wars in Steve's presence. Cass had working at the Tower 2 months and 2 weeks when she made the mistake of asking Steve about his experiences of World War II. His face immediately clouded over and he assumed a serious expression as he began to recite his memories. He droned on and on about how he absolutely detested bullies. Finally Cass got a bit bored and decided that whilst he was distracted she would make a run for it. But Steve was not as distracted as Cass had hoped and stopped her from leaving by pushing her back into the sofa and starting all over again but with far more vigour than before. Four hours later he let her go off to do some cleaning, and even then he wasn't finished. He only let her leave because Tony came in and said she had a job to do.

"Thank you so much for rescuing me." She whispered as she passed. He nodded and said,

"Now you know why we never bring up that particular subject, and you also know never to bring it up again." Poor Loki got that same lecture a few days later when he joked about how humans were constantly trying to kill each other. Unfortunately nobody rescued him.

* * *

"Come on! It'll be fun!"

"No Tony it won't! Not for the rest of us!"

But nothing Cass said made any difference to Tony. This was after all the man to which 'No' meant nothing.

The first thing Cass noticed about Tony's idea of Truth, Dare, Kiss or Swear was that the rules were different. The second thing she noticed was that they were completely unfair. Somebody else picked which thing you got. And of course Tony had way to many…_ideas…_

"Okay! Cass's turn! Cass I dare you to…kiss Loki! Right on the lips!" Tony sat in smug silence as he let his captivated audience take in what he had just announced.

Then Cass stood up grabbed Loki by the collar of his shirt yanked him round to face her and kissed him full on the lips, not expecting him to kiss her back. Then she turned around and sat back down. Leaving Loki looking a little dismayed.

"Now who's the smug one Tony?" Cass asked a smirk on her face as she looked across to see Tony's astonished face. Steve was beetroot red, Bruce's eyebrows were raised in a you've-totally-been-wanting-to-do-that-haven't-you ? Look. Natasha and Clint exchanged looks of horror and Thor just sat there looking shocked. _Am I bad, or am I bad?_ Cass thought to herself as she assumed a look of pure satisfaction.

* * *

"CASSANDRA JAMES!"

"Was that Bruce?"

"Nah can't have been." Just as Tony finished his sentence a roar was heard coming from the labs. Loki came racing in looking slightly fearful.

"I believe I just saw a very green looking Bruce heading this way." He then shot off towards the airing cupboard. Cass and Tony exchanged glances off complete and utter panic.

"You know what I might just go join him." But Cass was too late. The Hulk came through the wall and upon seeing her, roared,

"DUST! LAB! HULK SMASH!"

"Hold it big guy! Why don't you just supervise her cleaning of the lab?" Tony tried the diplomatic approach first before he went as far as pressing the panic button on his phone that would alert the other Avengers that Hulk was out and about. But Hulk seemed to like this solution better as he grunted at the door and gestured for Cass to go to the labs. Cass shot Tony a look that said when-I-get-my-hands-on-_you_ look as she headed back down to the labs.

The Hulk grunted and pointed towards a spot on the counter top. The universal sign for 'You missed a spot'. Cass quickly hurried to clean it before his anger could arouse. Just another day at the office.

* * *

The slamming of a door could be heard from 4 floors in both directions.

"Who was that?"

"Thor?"

"Hey!"

"Oh sorry Thor. It's just… well it's normally you who accidentally slams doors."

"Oh I don't think it was an accident."

"What makes you say that?"

"I think Loki discovered his…_ present…_" Cass chuckled, just as Loki entered the room clutching a small reindeer ornament. He then proceeded to growl threateningly and crush the small ornament with the slightest squeeze of his hand. Cass paled then tried to cover by saying,

"I take it you're not a fan of Rudolph?"

But Loki had seen the paleness of her face and was satisfied that she had been scared enough never to do it again. He left the room and headed for the kitchen.

"Oh shit!" Cass yelped. The heard the fridge door slam shut and everyone turned to look at her.

"You go hide in the airing cupboard. We'll hold him off." Steve said as they all stood up and Thor hit the panic button so that Clint, Natasha and Bruce would know that trouble was afoot.

* * *

"Okay everyone I think we should have some sort of team building exercise." Steve announced to the Avengers. It was Saturday. There was nothing on TV and Cass was preparing to leave for home.

"How 'bout we make Cass dinner?" Tony perked up.

"I'm all for it!" Cass threw down her bag and settled down at the breakfast bar in the centre of the kitchen.

"Must I take part in this 'team building exercise', since I am after all not part of 'team'?" Loki sounded extremely cautious, not that Cass could blame him. Thor and an oven? Not good.

Steve sighed.

"Not if you don't want to. Bruce?"

"Oh no! Hulk and cooking? He'd get stressed out in seconds."

The others started to prepare ingredients whilst Loki and Bruce joined Cass at the breakfast bar.

"Bets?" Cass asked innocently. Loki grinned. Bruce chuckled.

"I bet that Steve and Tony will succeed in making something edible-didn't you know Tony could cook?" Loki asked at the sudden shock on both Cass and Bruce's faces. "Apparently he takes great pride in it. And also that Clint and Natasha will be putting out the fire Thor is bound to make." He sounded very sure about that.

"I bet that they'll all blow up the kitchen." A simple possibility.

"I bet that all the technology will bewilder Steve, Thor will eat the ingredients, Natasha will burn attempt one, Clint will set fire to attempt two and Tony, who will have been watching all this go down, will then proceed to successfully create something edible. Hey Tony! You placing a bet." Tony then listened to the others thoughts, then laid his money on Cass's bet as well.

"You're not sitting down?"

"Nah. You're way to under-appreciated." Cass gapped at Tony, hardly able to believe what she was hearing. Neither could Loki and Bruce apparently.

"Did he actually just say that?"

"Umm… I think so?" Cass replied to Bruce's question, still half in shock herself.

"He is right though." Cass and Bruce turned to look at Loki in amazement. He then looked slightly embarrassed that all eyes were on him.

"What?" He asked, but Cass and Bruce just shook their heads in surprise.

Three hours later Tony produced a plate of roast beef, roast potatoes, carrots, two Yorkshire puddings and a glass of red wine.

"Pay up boys." Cass said, grinning from ear to ear at the shock on Loki and Bruce's faces as they handed over the cash.

* * *

"Hey Fury. Just invite yourself in why don't you?" Tony didn't even look up from his magazine.

"I will." Fury didn't even look in Tony's direction.

"Fury?"

"Cap' I need the Avengers on a mission."

"Save the world from the bad guys?"

"You got it."

"Cass could you Lokisit?"

Cass sighed.

"Do I have a choice?"

"No." Cass would have loved to answer back that he couldn't tell her what to do, and actually was about to point this out when Clint said,

"We say you have to as well."

_Damn._

That was how Cass ended up ordering Chinese and asking Larry (one of the security guards at the elevator) to go and get some stuff for her.

"What are these things?" Loki asked with disgust, as he picked up the plastic chopsticks.

"Chopsticks. The Chinese people eat the food with them." Cass explained picking up hers and trying unsuccessfully to use them to eat special fried rice. Loki laughed at her failed attempt, sure that he could do better. Copying her way of holding them he tried to pick up some chicken chow mein. Cass burst out laughing as he picked up a single strand and then proceeded to drop it on the table. He glared at the chopsticks angrily.

"You've never not been able to anything have you?"

"On the contrary I was never as good at fighting as Thor."

"That'll be why the Avengers beat the shit out of you last year then?"

Loki stared daggers.

"Poor ickle Loki!" Cass teased, poking him with her chopsticks as he threw his down on the table.

"Humph! I bet you are just as bad at fighting!"

"Who me? I'll have you know that you're looking at the top wrestler in of this day and age!" Loki raised his eyebrows and Cass tried to keep a straight face. She failed miserably. Then Loki laughed too. It was the first time Cass had heard him laugh, it was a nice sound. She had to resist the urge to make him laugh again.

"So. You ever watched a Disney movie?" Cass knew the answer before he could reply.

"No. What is a 'Disney movie'?" Cass practically threw herself about the room grabbing some awesome movies and racing to the TV.

"Sit." She ordered. Loki hesitated.

"Bu-"

"Sit." Cass growled and Loki, looking slightly scared, sat.

"First up Bambi."

_"Mother! Mother!"_

_"Your mother can be with you no longer."_

Loki sniffled. Cass sobbed.

"Pass me the tissues." Cass cried.

"This, is a dreadful movie." Loki stated whilst choking back tears.

"You want me to turn it off?"

"No! I must find out how poor Bambi fairs!"

_During Tangled._

_"Rapunzel… You were my new dream."_

_"And you were mine."_

"But Eugene can't die! They were obviously meant to be together!" Loki screamed at the screen.

"Tissues! Loki stop hogging them!"

_Rapunzel's tears heal Eugene._

Loki and Cass's sobs of sorrow turned into tears of joy.

After Tangled had ended Cass was changing the discs when she thought she saw a red light. But the moment she looked it disappeared, so she ignored it and carried on.

"Last movie for tonight. We'll watch some more tomorrow night." She announced, Loki promptly went into sulk mode, but cheered up when the movie started.

_"I did it to save my father! Please believe me!"_

"How can that moron not see that she is telling the truth? And why does it matter that she is a woman? She was clearly the best warrior out of all of them! And she just saved him!"

"Loki calm down!"

"At least he has spared her life." Loki put on his thinking face as the Huns 'Popped out of the snow! Like daisies!'

"Loki… Why are you thinking? Or more importantly, what are you thinking about?"

"I wonder how much you would have to pay the Huns to get them to fight for you? Hypothetically, of course." He added quickly. Cass sighed.

The next night Cass ordered in pizza and pissed herself laughing at Loki who took a bite out of the pizza and the cheese just stretched.

"What are we watching tonight?"

"Hmmm… well I think we can start with Watership Down."

_The end of the movie._

"He died! I thought this was a children's thing!" Loki ranted blowing his nose on yet another tissue.

"I know! And he left poor Fiver alone in the world!" Cass whimpered, snatching the tissues away from Loki and pulling one out.

"I need a drink." Loki sniffled as he went to get up. But Cass immediately pulled him back onto the sofa.

"Oh no you don't we got other films to watch."

_Half way through Pocahontas._

"I feel that Governor Ratcliffe would make a good edition to an army." Cass rolled her eyes at Loki's comment.

"But then again so would Percy and most definitely Flit." Cass just sighed.

_The end of Pocahontas._

"But they were meant to be together!" Loki yelled at the screen.

"You're telling me?!" Cass screamed back.

_The end of Hercules._

"That was possibly the worst Midguardian junk that exists on this realm." Loki said in a bored tone.

"Just because it wasn't about you." Cass replied sharply.

"The next one had better be better."

"You know for a smart god, you really don't have a very wide range of vocabulary." Loki glared at her as she knelt by the DVD player.

_The end of Bug's Life._

"Hmm…"

"Oh no Loki! Not your thinking face!" Cass exclaimed in mock terror.

"The grasshoppers and the ants would make good soldiers."

"Maybe for opposing teams.."

"No you foolish mortal!" Loki snapped. "They would be in my army!"

"Wow you are so stupid! They're enemies! They be constantly trying to kill each other off!"

"That's because they don't have a supreme leader!"

"Bullshit! Go to bed I'll deal with you in the morning!"

_The next morning._

"Are you going to apologise and get me my breakfast?" Loki asked Cass. He didn't even suspect her answer.

"No I'm bloody well not! Are _you _going to apologise and get _me_ _my _breakfast!"

_That evening._

"Please watch some more of those Midguardian 'films' with me." Loki pleaded, trying unsuccessfully to pull of the puppy eyes Thor could so effectively achieve. He looked like a kitten that had just been told it was too old for milk. And for the first time in his entire life Loki found someone seeing him, not as their superior or their inferior, but as their equal. He wasn't sure how he felt about it at the time.

"_Fine."_ Cass replied exasperatingly.

_The end of Beauty and the Beast._

"I knew it!" Loki exclaimed, making Cass leap off of the sofa.

"Knew what?"

"That they would get together in the end." Loki really didn't get the theme of Disney movies did he.

_During Snow White and the Seven Dwarves._

"I must recruit this evil queen." Cass sighed. She was of course, used to this kind of comment by now.

_The end of Snow White._

"Damn! Now the evil queen is dead I cannot recruit her." But Cass saw the spark of joy in his eyes when the prince kissed Snow White and the rode off into the sunset. He wasn't as good at hiding his emotions as he thought he was. At least not from her.

_During Cinderella._

"Cass…hold my hand…"

"That the best chat up line you got?"

"No…it's just… I don't like that evil stepmother…"

"You're not supposed to."

"Sh-She scares me…" Cass looked at Loki in a mixture of awe and hilarity.

_The end of Cinderella._

"There see? It all ended happily ever after. It wasn't so bad after all."

"I suppose so.. But never mention a word of this to anyone!"

"I won't, now off to bed."

"Don't turn the lights off!"

"Okay."

"Cass… I'm afraid to sleep alone."

"No luck there sunshine! Off you go!" Cass laughed, as she headed up the hall to her temporary room.

* * *

"We're back!"

"Yes Steve, I can see that." Cass answered curled up playing chess with Loki.

"Hey chess can I play?"

"In a second when Loki has finished letting me win."

The rest of the Avengers entered the room and froze upon seeing Loki and Cass not fighting.

"Umm… You two haven't been up to no good whilst we were away, have you?" Tony asked, what sounded like fatherly concern in his voice.

"Well unless you count eating junk food and watching Disney movies as 'no good', then yeah."

"Umm… You made Loki watch Disney movies?"

"Made is not the right word."

"Ooh chess! Can I play?" Clint asked as he bounced in to the room.

"Look why don't you all queue up?"

"Okay!" They all yelled, scrambling to queue.

Clint was first and when he lost went off in a strop, slamming several air vents as he went. Thor couldn't grasp the different rules for each piece (much to Loki's delight). Natasha scared the crap out of me when she shot at the pieces. Tony beat all of us, except Loki who out-smarted everyone. And then Steve, who is usually so good natured….cheated.

"Steve are you cheating." Tony asked.

"No." Steve replied with a perfect poker face. Cass's jaw dropped in amazement and Loki and Tony looked at Steve with some sort of pride going on.

"You know Loki I think we're finally rubbing off on him." Tony said with air of a father whose son had just graduated from a top university at the age of 13.

Cass rolled her eyes.

"You guys a such a bad influence."

"Says the woman who cheated the pizza delivery man out of $50." Loki said with raised eyebrows.

"That's different." Cass sniffed.

"Wait what?" Steve asked with a parental air. Tony grinned.

"I'm so proud."

* * *

"Tony Stark if you don't sign this piece of paper I will personally kill you!"

"I'll sign it later!"

"You said that 3 months ago!"

Loki elbowed Cass in the ribs as Tony left the room.

"Why don't I just forge his signature?" He suggested as he took the clipboard from Cass. "There, see? All done and no stress."

_An hour later._

"Hey Loki, sign this for Tony would you?"

"Of course."

* * *

"So I have called you all here because I think you need a pet."

"A pet?"

"Yes Clint. A pet. Something you can all look after as a team."

"I think it's a great idea!" Steve said, grinning.

"How about a tabby cat?" Bruce suggested.

"If you're going to get a cat at least get a black one." Loki said.

"Pur-lease! Cats are nothing compared to German Shepherds!" Tony exclaimed.

"Can I just suggest we get a guinea pig?" Clint asked.

Everyone turned to him and yelled,

"NO!"

"Okay never mind!" Clint cried throwing his hands up in surrender.

"How 'bout a Chihuahua?" They all turned slowly round to face Steve who immediately went red. "It was just a suggestion."

"Can we please get a Shetland pony?!" Natasha shrieked. "I always wanted one as a kid!"

"Umm… no their a bit big, sorry Natasha." Cass said patting her back.

"Why not get a hamster?" Pepper suggested cautiously.

"Those little rat things? No! Why not get a pig?"

Cass could see that Thor only wanted a pig so he could eat it so she yelled,

"You know what never mind! No pets!"

"OOOHHHHH!" They all cried.

**Hope you guys liked it! Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So much positiveness! Thank you everyone!**

"You didn't file them properly _again!_"

"Look Tony! Not all of us are genius' and anyway since when have you cared?!"

"Next time there's gonna be trouble!"

_The next day._

An ear splitting scream echoed throughout the Tower making several of it's occupants jump up and grab the nearest object for protection. Somebody must have pressed a panic button because the alarms were screeching and the lights were flashing.

"Tony get that mouldy banana away from me!" Cass's shrieks could be heard all over the Tower.

"Should we go and help Lady Cassandra?" Thor asked, a worried look on his face. Clint thought about this for a second before saying,

"Nah."

* * *

Cass rammed the hoover into Tony and glared at him.

"You and the Avengers need to get out while I'm cleaning."

"I suppose you want me to include Loki in that?"

"Yes."

"Where the hell would we go?"

"I don't know! The zoo?!"

"That is an amazing idea!" At this comment Cass felt a stirring in the pit of her stomach. Maybe the zoo wasn't such a good idea after all. But before she could say so Tony had rounded up the Avengers and Loki, told them the plan and was on the way out the door. _How _**does**_ he _**do** _that! _She thought to herself. _Oh well, at least I'll get some cleaning done._ And with that thought she set to work cleaning.

_Meanwhile at the zoo._

"You must get very bored in there. Swimming around in circles, if you worked for me…"

"Yeah…let's just leave him to it, shall we?" Tony muttered under his breathe as they all went their separate directions.

Thor and Steve headed towards the petting zoo. A young zoo keeper was trying to keep hold of a very… excitable, ferret. Now Thor thinking that it was an adorable creature decided he wanted to cuddle it. The ferret went into crazy, hormonal mode and tried….well let's just say it wasn't pretty…

"Don't worry Thor I'll chase it away." Said Steve as he hit the ferret and it landed on the ground. It then ran back towards it's cage making little ferret noises… and came back with an _army_ of crazy, hormonal ferrets.

"Run!" Thor yelled as he turned and fled with Steve right behind him.

"Thor head for the underground bat cave!" Steve yelled and Thor practically threw himself inside and Steve slammed the door. The few people inside the bat cave gave them odd looks.

"Don't mind us we were just escaping a pack of crazy, hormonal ferrets." Steve explained. A huge man stepped forward and went to look outside. The look of fear on his face as he rushed back in was unforgettable.

"I'm a soldier and a big one at that. I seen things in Afghanistan that I hope my kids never see. But that out there. That's something else. The horror, the horror…" The man ran to hug his wife and kids, like he thought he'd never see them again. Steve and Thor looked at the man with sympathy, they felt they had something in common with this man now, they had shared the horror of crazy, hormonal ferrets. A bond that could never be broken.

Meanwhile outside the underground bat cave the keepers were rounding up the crazy, hormonal ferrets and they even had an armed escort (keepers with tranquilizer guns) to the Ferret Asylum. But the people inside didn't know this and stayed where they were.

_Meanwhile at the elephant enclosure._

"Hahaha! This elephant is awesome!" Tony yelled holding the camera up as the elephant continued to chase it's keeper around the enclosure.

"Do you think that the keeper has figured out that he should go under the fence yet?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah he's just giving us a good show." Tony replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

That's when the elephant came crashing through the fence. Heading straight for Natasha and Tony.

"Вот дерьмо!" Natasha screeched in russian.

"English!" Tony yelled.

"Oh shit!" Natasha translated.

They shot towards the penguin enclosure and threw themselves onto the 'ice'.

"Umm… they don't look like penguins." Tony said, terror in his voice.

"That's because they're elephant seals. And elephant seals tend to be aggressive." Natasha replied, gulping slightly.

"RUN!" And they threw themselves out of the enclosure.

"Head for the bat cave!" Natasha yelled. She and Tony burst through the door, slammed it shut behind them and Tony said,

"Oh hi guys."

"Thor, what's that in your hair?" Natasha asked.

"Trust me you don't wanna know." Steve answered for him, shuddering slightly at the memory of the crazy, hormonal ferrets. They settled down for another long wait.

_Meanwhile in the hand reared big cat enclosure._

"Now we have a lion called Leo, a tiger called Stripes-" The keeper (a young, blond woman) was saying, but Clint interrupted her.

"What imaginative names."

"I know right!" The keeper said, obviously not hearing the sarcasm in Clint's voice. "We also have a cheetah called Quicksand, two snow leopards called Snowflake and Snow Angel, five jaguars called Tommy, Jerry, Brussels, Ozzie and Yankee!"

"I wonder how she gets so excited about names?" Bruce muttered under his breath. Clint sniggered.

After playing tug of war with Stripes and Leo the group found themselves being stalked.

"I think Snowflake and Snow Angel are the ringleaders of a rebellion." Clint voiced his fears to the group.

"J-just keep moving people. They don't usually do this sort of thing." The keeper said, her voice all wobbly with fear.

Tommy and Jerry were on the right side, Brussels and Ozzie were on the left whilst Snowflake, Snow Angel and Yankee herded the group on from behind. The group now consisted of screaming people running towards the exit.

"Errr… Clint we have a big problem!" Bruce said, the green flecks in his eyes glowing.

"Ah shit! Now?!" Hulk was back. And he turned to face the unsuspecting rebels and roared,

"HULK SMASH!" The rebels turned and fled, the Hulk running after them.

"Ahh damn, forgot my bow and arrows… I'll just leave you guys to it… Ummm… Laterz!" Then Clint fled the enclosure with the others.

Clint then headed towards the giraffe enclosure, he figured it'd be safe there. A familiar red head was by the fence and he sauntered over. Natasha, Tony, Steve and Thor had only just had the courage to abandon their safe house (AKA The bat cave).

"Hey Nat. Bet your day hasn't been as exciting as mine."

"Is that so?"

"Me and Thor got attacked by crazy, hormonal ferrets." Steve piped up.

"Me and Natasha got chased by an elephant and attacked by vicious elephant seals." Tony pointed out.

"Me and Bruce got attacked by big cats. Then Bruce hulked out and attacked them."

"I am not sure which of those ventures sounds worse." Thor mused.

"Oh look here comes Bruce." Tony chimed, as the Hulk walked towards them, at a surprisingly leisurely pace.

"Umm.. I hate to point this out, but…Has anyone seen Loki?" Steve asked, suddenly wary.

"Oh crap…" Tony groaned.

Just at that moment Loki came racing round the corner looking slightly fearful.

"I think it's time to leave." He cried. Then howling started. Nearby.

"I thought the wolves were the other side of the park?" Natasha asked, thoughtfully.

"They were." Loki replied, that was definitely fear talking.

"You didn't!" Clint yelled.

The wolves came dashing round the corner.

"Friends, I think we should leave now."

"Right in front of you, Thor!" Tony yelled as he shot towards the exit.

_Back at the Tower._

"Did you see the look on that guys face!" Tony said threw his laughter.

"He fell into the mug stand and everything!" Clint said breathlessly.

"You guys are filthy! Showers now! Yes you too Loki! Thor what is that in your hair? On second thoughts I don't wanna know. " Cass shrieked as Tony went to sit down on the spotless sofa. They all grumbled arguments, but Cass noticed that they all went to shower.

When they returned, sparkly clean, they flumped on the sofa and the Avengers promptly fell asleep.

"So Loki… Why have I just received a call from the manager of the zoo? Something about wolves, big cats, Hulk, elephants and ferrets…" Cass asked Loki, the only one still awake.

"Well… It's a long story…"

"In case you hadn't noticed I have all night."

Loki sighed and began at the beginning.

"Whilst I was trying to recruit the sharks…." Cass sighed, it was gonna be a long night.

* * *

"Why on earth would you want to do the food shopping Tony? You hate shopping, of any description!" Cass had been knocked off balance when Tony had said he and the other Avengers would do the food shopping.

"It's grocery shopping Cass. Not 'food shopping' . This is America not England. And I want to help out…"

"Bullshit Tony. You just want something that you know I wouldn't get. But a day off shopping would be okay I guess…" Cass hated shopping just as much as Tony did.

"Yay! You won't regret this Cass!" Tony yelled as he gave her a big bear hug. Then of course Thor joined in and both Tony and Cass couldn't breathe. Loki smirked and said,

"Don't expect me to join in."

"Why would we want you to join in?" Tony asked spitefully.

"Cass would wouldn't you Cass?" Loki smirked. But Cass wiped that smirk right off his face when she slapped him round the face and said,

"Not every woman is obsessed with you, you know."

_At the supermarket._

Loki threw some more angel cake and battenburg into the trolley.

"Loki do you really need all that?" Steve asked.

"Cass gets them for me all the time." Although this statement was partially true it was also a lie. Cass did get Loki angel cake and battenburg but not the amount that Loki was throwing in the trolley.

"Okay Bruce, you got the dairy products and veggies?" Steve asked.

"Yep. You got the bread, meat and fruit?"

"Yeah… Tony what the heck are you doing?"

"I need these yogurts."

"They're kiddies yogurts." Bruce observed.

"Oh there you guys are!" Clint cried, with an air of someone who had lost their party of friends, even though he hadn't lost them at all.

"Clint, is that hand sanitizer?"

"I use it to clean my bow and get the blood off my arrows!" Clint said defensively.

"Uh huh…" Tony was silently laughing at what he thought was bullshit.

"Oh look it's Natasha!" Clint said trying to change the subject.

"Hi people." She said as she dumped four bottles of vodka and russian pure alcohol into the trolley. The others just shook their heads at this typical russian behaviour.

_Back at the Tower._

"What the heck! I am never letting you people go shopping again! Why on earth did you get all this cake?"

"Loki said!" Steve cried trying to pin point the blame on Loki.

"And you listened to him?!" Cass yelled. Loki raised his eyebrows.

"You know, she has an excellent point." He said.

"SHUT UP LOKI!" Cass shouted at him. He shrank away from her and shot off in the direction of the airing cupboard.

* * *

"Hey, has anyone seen Cass?" Tony asked, looking around.

"I think she said something about having a shower." Steve replied.

"Why didn't she use her own shower?"

"Her hot water isn't working is it." Bruce told Tony.

Bruce and Steve left the room. Leaving Loki and Tony alone.

"Hey Loki, see if she's in the shower." Tony said jokingly. Loki stood up and left the room. A determined look on his face.

_A minute and a half later._

Cass had just finished wrapping the towel around her when Loki barged in a smirk on his lips.

"Oh. They told us you were in here but Tony and I didn't believe them."

"Hey Loki! Was she in there?" Tony yelled up the stairs.

"Yes!" Loki yelled back still staring at Cass with a smug expression on his face. He laughed at the horror on her face.

"So shy…" He muttered as he walked out. Leaving the door wide open. _ If god's could die…_

_The next day._

Cass had just wrapped the towel around her when Loki barged in, again. He froze, gaped at her, then muttered a, "Sorry." And then shot out of the bathroom. Cass sighed. _I am never showering at work again._

* * *

The sound of Luney Tunes echoed around the penthouse lounge.

"Loki?" Cass asked.

"Cass you must watch this!" Loki said as he yanked her down onto the sofa next to him.

_The next day._

"Cass did you even leave last-"

"Bruce shut up! This is the best part!" Cass scolded.

"Luney Tunes? Really?" Steve asked.

"Aren't you a little close to Loki?" Tony asked.

" Tony if you don't shut your fucking mouth, I will shut it for you." Cass replied with real conviction. They backed off. But two days later when Loki and Cass where still having their Luney Tunes fest Thor put his hammer down.

"You may watch this children's program only on Sundays!"

"Oooohhhhh!" Loki and Cass cried.

* * *

"This film I like it!"

"What's the film?" Cass asked as she ironed yet another 'I am Iron Man' t-shirt.

"Twilight!" Cass dropped the iron and gaped at Thor. She ran to the doorway and yelled,

"Tony we have an emergency!" Tony came running, wheezing away.

"This had better be a life or death situation, 'cause I just frigging ran!"

"Thor likes Twilight!" Cass shrieked.

"Jesus that is an emergency!" Tony cried as he slapped Thor around the face.

"Snap out of man! You're better than this!"

"But it's my favourite film…" Thor's voice was all wobbly and his lip was trembling.

Tony and Cass sighed, looked at each other and then Cass said,

"We'll watch them with you and then you can see how crap they are and learn how to react from the professionals."

"We'll what!" Tony shouted, the horror on his face apparent.

"Yay! I will get number 2!" Thor yelled and ran to get it from his room.

"Tony…"

"Mmm…"

"Why do you have those movies?"

"They're Pepper's."

"Mmmhmmm…"

"Are you suggesting that _I _would watch this shit?!"

Unfortunately Tony said this just as Thor rushed in.

"Tony! How could you say that?!"

Cass sighed. This was gonna be a long day.

* * *

Cass picked up the large black case and moved it onto the floor. The next thing she knew Natasha was all up in her face yelling stuff like,

"How dare you move my guns! You English midget!"

"Tony!" Cass shrieked. Tony could be heard thumping upstairs with several other loud clunks following him. Tony, Bruce and Thor burst through the door and pounced on Natasha.

"Get to the airing cupboard Lady Cassandra! We will cover your retreat!" Thor boomed. But Cass was already gone.

_That was not an experience I ever want to repeat again, _she thought to herself as she hid in the airing cupboard.

Unfortunately the very next day Cass moved a different case out of the way and suddenly Clint was there with a knife to her throat.

"Who are you?! Why are you trying to kill us?!" He yelled. Cass was terrified. Loki, however, thought it was hilarious. Luckily for Cass Natasha walked in at that precise moment.

"She move your bow?" She asked casually.

"Yeah and my arrows! I'm trying to discover who she works for but she won't say." There was a loud thump from the sofa and when they all turned to look they saw Loki on the floor, tears of laughter streaming down his face.

"Relax Clint, she's just cleaning. She works for Tony."

"Oh right." He said letting her go. He then followed Natasha out of the room, a big mistake. The satisfying smack of Cass's hand across Loki's face might have brought Tony running if he had been in the Tower. However that didn't stop Loki from saying through fits of laughter,

"And you've been here a year and half! He knows your name for goodness sake!" Cass slapped him again but to no avail. _I'm never gonna hear the last of this._

* * *

Cass knew the moment she walked into the Tower that Tony was up to something.

"We're going to the races!" Tony bellowed as he bounded into the room.

"Have fun." Cass replied thankful for the peace and quiet that would come when they left.

"Oh you're coming with us." Bruce said, determined that if he was going to go along with Tony's latest, crazy idea then another sane person ought to come to. Cass sighed. There was no point arguing.

It only took them an hour to reach Aqueduct Racetrack.

"So, who's placing a bet?" Tony asked as the wandered towards the bookies stands.

"Not me." Cass replied sullenly.

"Neither am I." Loki said.

"Same here."

"Well I happen to be a professional at placing bets." Natasha said smugly.

"That'll be why your constantly begging for money on the streets the, yeah?" Cass suggested.

"I knew that old woman down on 4th looked familiar!" Tony exclaimed in sudden realisation. Natasha hit him round the head and glared at Cass who hid behind Loki.

"I'll place a bet." Steve said, trying to distract everyone from their murderous thoughts. Tony looked at him with euphoria.

"I'll teach you all I know about betting!" Tony cried as he dragged poor Steve away. Clint followed them saying,

"Might as well place a bet. I got nothing to lose."

Cass, Thor, Loki and Bruce headed to the stands. They saved seats for the others and absorbed themselves in little tasks. Cass drew in her sketch book and Loki watched her. Thor contented himself with watching everything going on around him. An old woman arguing with her son-in-law seemed particularly interesting to him. Whilst Bruce kept a careful eye on Loki, who had as yet to draw his eyes away from Cass and her sketches.

Tony and Steve were the first to find them, Natasha and Clint weren't far behind them.

All of them now seated, they settled down to watch the track just as the race started. By the time it finished Thor had a lot to say about the atrocious riding.

"Is he always like this when it comes to riding?" Muttered under her breath to Loki.

"Unfortunately yes." Was the reply.

Unfortunately could also be used to describe the next events, which involved Loki, Tony, Steve and Natasha dragging Thor out of the racetrack grounds in the pouring rain after an extremely loud argument with a top jockey had gotten them thrown out.

"You just had to open that big gob of yours didn't you Thor?" Clint asked.

"Ummmm… Clint you might want to keep your mouth shut. There's no airing cupboard here." Cass said in a matter of fact tone. Clint shrugged, but they all noticed how he shut up immediately.

"Errr… This may perfectly normal for you guys, but does wind normally do that?" Cass asked, worry in her voice.

"Oh my god!" Tony yelled. "I have to film this!" He got out his phone and started filming the nearing tornado.

"Tony it's getting closer! We should leave now!" Steve yelled above the roaring wind. Tony shoved his phone back into his pocket and they raced towards the car.

"Tony did you get the footage of Thor arguing with that jockey?" Bruce asked as he grabbed Tony's phone and started going through the pictures of the day.

"Uh huh." Cass looked from Thor to Tony and voiced what everyone else was thinking.

"I am never going to the races with you again."

"On the upside we can get a lot of money for this video of the tornado." Tony said trying to put a happy twist into the day.

They all groaned. All Tony seemed to think about was money and sex.

"Hey wait a second ! Clint you haven't lost _or_ won any money did you?" Tony cried the anguish he felt clearly showing in his voice. This was gonna be a long car journey.

* * *

Cass walked into the kitchen with the shopping on a Friday afternoon only to get intercepted by Tony and led into the lounge where the Avengers and Loki were waiting for her.

"Okay Cass. I have a question for you." Tony informed her.

"Ask away Tony." Cass said, exasperation in her voice.

"Will you move into Stark Tower?"

The hopeful expressions on everyone's faces influenced her decision greatly.

"Okay." Cass had barely said the word when everyone gathered for a group bear hug.

"Guys… Can't breathe…" Cass gasped for air as she tried to get the words out. They all let go and looked a little sheepish.

"I'll go get my stuff after work."

"Can't you get it now?" Tony begged and Thor pulled his puppy dog face whilst Loki did his kitten eyes.

"Fine. There had better not be a party tonight."

_That night._

"Tony I said no party!" Cass cried as she stood looking at the huge banner that read, 'Welcome to Stark Tower Cass!"

"I know but I didn't invite anybody so it doesn't really count as a party." Tony tried to wheedle his way out of trouble. Cass sighed and went to get a bottle of strong alcohol.

The rest of night past in a blur. But she was vaguely aware of kissing the ever sober Steve. Waking up the next morning she could have sworn that she saw Loki spot her and Steve and then storm off.

_I wonder what was wrong with him?_ Cass wondered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it's late haven't been able to get on the computer, my nan's been hogging it! *Insert angry face here* Urgh! Hope you like it!**

After the whole incident at the party when Loki looked pissed off Cass thought it would be a good idea to ask him what was wrong. However, it wasn't such a good idea as nothing came of it.

"Foolish blind midguardian woman…." He muttered.

And asking Tony was just as useful.

"Idiotic blind females…"

Bruce started out helpful….then progressed back into the realm of uselessness.

"That guys' brain is a bagful of cats, you can smell crazy on him…." Then it was, "Why choose to fall for someone so blind?"

_What is with everyone today? _Cass thought to herself, frowning as she sorted out dinner.

"You and me are going shopping!" Pepper cried as she yanked Cass out of bed and threw some clothes at her.

"Pepper-"

"No excuses!"

Cass sighed. It was no use arguing with Pepper. The woman had to be stubborn if she was still with Tony.

_7 hours later._

"This one looks gorgeous on you!"

Cass stifled a yawn. Seven hours of wandering around trying things on had absolutely exhausted her. And then a thought occurred to her.

"Pepper…Why are you getting me all this stuff?"

"Because you don't have anything suitable for tonight."

Cass suddenly felt sick.

"Tonight?"

"We're all going out to dinner."

_ I should so have seen this coming._

"Okay you can look now!" Pepper cried in excitement. Cass opened her eyes and almost screamed. She was wearing a long, strapless turquoise dress, make-up and jewellery. Pepper then disappeared to find Natasha. Cass then decided to go get a snack. Not realising that the Avengers and Loki were waiting in the kitchen.

Tony immediately got his phone out to take pictures, Bruce looked like he was going to have a panic attack and Loki and Steve stood there with their mouths wide open. Cass went bright red as Clint choked on a crisp he had been eating when she came in the room. Then Natasha and Pepper came into the room and looked at her hair for a second.

"Definitely not a ponytail." Natasha said after a moment.

"See that's what I was thinking. Bun?"

"Hmmmm… maybe…" Then the two of them went into conference mode.

Thor then bounded in and upon seeing Cass bowed and said,

"Greeting fair maiden! I am Thor and you are?"

" I'm Cass you moron!"

Loki and Steve were the only ones not laughing.

"I am not drinking any alcoholic beverage that you have made yourself Tony." Cass told Tony firmly. Then she saw Loki eyeing her from one side of the room and Steve eyeing her from the other side of the room. "On second thoughts…" She said as she snatched the glass from Tony and downed it in one gulp.

_The next morning._

Cass sighed and twitched her leg. And froze as her leg brushed against another leg.

_I didn't. I wasn't that drunk was I? _

It wasn't Steve. He was too old fashioned. That left only one other option…. And then the entire night flooded back into her memories.

_I did._

Cass was stood in the kitchen thinking about why she was in the kitchen when suddenly Tony was there. And then, just as suddenly he wasn't and she was cooking dinner…

_Hang on a minute, it's Tony's turn to cook tonight… That little rat!_

After dinner Cass had been on her way to do something when she suddenly forgot what she was going to do. Then she found herself being dragged somewhere by Loki.

The next morning she awoke in Loki's bed. Again.

_I swear I live with bloody vultures._

"Cass may I borrow this book? It looks interesting." Loki asked Cass, waving her copy of The Bone Garden about.

"Umm sure."

_An hour later._

"I loved the flashbacks, but I think the murderer was by far the best character." Cass sighed. Of course it had only taken Loki an hour to read a bloody thick book that had taken _her _at least 2 weeks.

"Hey Cass can I read that book?" Clint asked.

Soon they all wanted to read it. So Cass went out and got them all their own copies to avoid arguments. It still didn't end well.

Cass opened the fridge. And that one gesture changed everything.

"Oh my god you're not a virgin anymore! What happened?" Tony said in amazement.

"Who's the guy? You are being safe right?"

"Bruce you're not my fucking dad! And what the fuck Tony? I literally just opened the fridge!"

"Fondue?" Cass shot Steve a wierded out look.

"Sooo…." Cass took a step back from Natasha.

"Cupid's been shooting arrows again."

"Hawkward much Clint."

"What is this! How dare somebody steal Lady Cassandra's virtues!" Cass just face palmed at Thor's input.

And throughout all of this Loki just stood there looking awkward.


	5. Author's Note

Okay so I am so sorry about this but I am going to have to stop this fic as our computer had a virus and deleted all my fic's. Urgh! But more fic's will follow. Hopefully...


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